Camping Can Be Fun
by spacegypsy1
Summary: These guys love to camp! Jack, Daniel, Vala, Sam, Teal’c Mitchell. Vala and Daniel fight, there’s rain and a leaking tent. Jack and Sam are getting close. Teal’c speaks and Mitchell gets caught in the middle. DV, SJ
1. Chapter 1 Road to Perdition

Title: Camping Can Be Fun

A/N: From Marishal's story idea! Thanks Mari.

Synopsis: These guys love to camp! Jack, Daniel, Vala, Sam, Teal'c Mitchell. Vala and Daniel fight, there's rain and a leaking tent. Jack and Sam are getting close. Teal'c speaks and Mitchell gets caught in the middle.

**Chapter One: Road to Perdition **

"Move over" Daniel pushed against Vala's hip in the crowded SUV.

"Daniel I can't move over, there's no room." She hit Daniel's shoulder with the heel of her hand.

"Teal'c?" Disgruntled, Daniel called from the back seat.

"Yes DanielJackson." Teal'c took a quick glance at his friend in the rearview mirror, then returned his eyes to the road.

"Next stop, we're switching places. I'll drive."

"Agreed." Teal'c nodded. Anyone who didn't know him would not recognize the laughter in his eyes.

The other two front seat occupants were quiet. Sam only shifted her eyes for the barest of seconds to Jack, who pretended to look out the passenger window, a grin on his face.

"Look, you two," Mitchell interjected with a hint of rancor, "I'm practically squashed to this door. This is a big SUV, there is no reason we can't all sit comfortable. So chill out."

Both Vala and Daniel leaned forward and scowled at Mitchell.

"General," Mitchell drawled from the corner of the back seat, " I'm not feelin' the love back here. Your idea of a fun camping trip is beginning to feel like a mission to the Ori galaxy."

"Oh, we'll have some fun. At least four of us will. It's only a few hours to the campsite." Jack didn't bother looking away from the blur of trees whizzing past out the window.

xxxxxx

When they stopped for gas everyone but Sam got out of the vehicle to stretch. Teal'c pumped the gas while Mitchell and Jack went into the store for ice and beer.

Vala made a mad dash for the ladies room, as Daniel hopped into the driver's seat. He sighed, relaxing in the comfort of the big seat. Laying his head back, he turned his gaze to Sam. "This was a bad idea."

Sam held the laugh inside, "Daniel, it's an adventure. You're way too tense."

Mitchell and Jack returned carrying a Styrofoam ice chest. "Okay, Danny-boy, you're gonna have to hop in the back." Jack spoke as he and Mitchell tried to wedge the ice chest into the back seat of the already over stuffed vehicle.

"What? I don't think so. I'm driving."

"No way, bucko, I'm driving. I'm the only one who knows the way from here. Teal'c's called shotgun, Carter gets car sick in the backseat in the mountains. You, Mitchell, and Vala are gonna have to cram in for the next twenty or so miles, with the ice chest. So move it." Jack was already pulling Daniel from the front driver's seat.

"We have a cooler full of beer tied on top. Why would we need more, I see no sense in this. We need the space." By the time Daniel got out of the front, Vala, the ice chest, and Mitchell were comfortably settled into the back seat.

Mitchell and Jack looked at each other in confusion over Daniel's question.

Then every one of them, heads turned in his direction, gaped perplexed at Daniel who stood crestfallen at the open car door.

"Come on Daniel, I want to get there before dark thirty." Jack started the engine.

Vala shifted over and forward, a silly grin on her face. She patted the infinitesimal space between the door and herself. "Come on Daniel, Jack wants to get there before dark thirty," she continued to pat the seat, "I know your cute little butt will fit very nicely right here."

He closed his eyes. Dropped his head.

"Jackson!" Mitchell pressed.

Daniel managed to wedge himself into the remaining minuscule gap between Vala and the door.

"Finally!" Jack grouched. Turning to look out the back window, he threw the SUV in reverse, put his arm over the seat, behind Sam, and caught Mitchell's twinkling eye grin.

Backing up, Jack returned Mitchell's knowing grin with one of his own. He turned the car forward, keeping his arm behind Sam, and pulled onto the highway.

The door handle dug into Daniel's hip. Each time he shifted for comfort, Vala would shift and steal the space he worked so hard to take over.

The two wrestled for the next twenty minutes. Vala turned the ice chest long ways, creating a few inches. When Daniel moved to take the tiny space she vacated, Vala hit against the Styrofoam cooler and a definite crack got everyone's attention. Mitchell scowled at Daniel.

"What? It wasn't me."

Vala moved back his way, threw a leg over his leg and put an arm behind his shoulder. "There, happy?"

"Not by any stretch of the imagination." He picked her leg up and tossed it aside. She scooted forward, then tried to lodge herself on the floor between the seats. Daniel immediately appropriated the space she left unguarded.

That didn't last two minutes. Vala groaned. "Daniel?"

"What!?"

"Open your legs, I'm going to move in"

Mitchell nearly broke his neck, he turned his head so quickly. Even Teal'c took his gaze momentarily from the passing scenery to look back.

Vala forced herself between his legs and leaned back into him. "There, you see, all better."

"Get up!" Daniel pushed against her back, sending Vala crashing into the back of the driver's seat.

Mitchell, frustrated, put his hands against his face, stretched his eyes, rubbed his temples and moaned.

"Will you two kids stop fighting! Jez, you're gonna cause a wreck." Jack looked back in the rearview mirror, but couldn't see the couple. He looked at Sam with a wicked grin. She smiled back. Jack let his hand fall every so slightly to rest against her shoulder. Almost imperceptibly Sam moved closer to his side.

Vala sat across Daniel's lap. To avoid contact with the roof of the vehicle, she laid her head on his shoulder, then wiggled around to find the most comfortable spot on his lap.

"Can you please be still." Daniel closed his eyes, shaking his head in irritation.

"I can't be still, I'm uncomfortable"

"Well stop wiggling."

"I am not wiggling."

"You are. Take the damned cooler and sit it on your lap." Daniel's voice seethed with annoyance.

"It's leaking." She closed her eyes, sighing in contentment.

"Would it not be prudent, DanielJackson, to relax for the remained of our travel? ValaMalDoran, please put on DanielJackson's seat belt." Teal'c never took his eyes off of the countryside.

Moving only one arm, Vala explored for the seat belt, moving her hand across Daniel's side, and finally unbuckling the belt. She enjoyed every minute of lifting and pressing to loosen the belt and get it across the both of them.

"How much further?" Before Daniel got a response from Jack, both Sam and Mitchell said, "Are we there yet?" Both laughing at their shared joke.

"Ten minutes, maybe fifteen," Jack answered with a hint of humor in his voice.

Within five minutes, Daniel's legs were going numb. "This is torture. You sure you don't have some of Qetesh still hanging around?"

Vala's head came up hitting the ceiling. "Agh! Daniel that was really mean."

Scooting off his lap, Vala picked up the damp cooler, sat in it's damp space and placed it's damp bottom across her legs. With a hurt expression she turned her face away from him.

Mitchell reached over and patted her hand before taking the cooler and placing it on his lap. "Let me hold that." Once again, he scowled at Daniel as water dripped from the cracked cooler onto his legs.

Feeling contrite, Daniel looked out the window wondering how she could take him to the brink of madness, then break his heart with one uncomplicated hurt look.

Facing her he whispered, "I'm sorry."

But Vala twisted at the waist, completely turning away from him. She didn't say another word for the remained of the ride.


	2. Chapter 2 Campers

Title: Camping Can Be Fun

Author: spacegypsy1

Rating: Teen +  
Category: Action/Adventure/Romance  
Season: After Season 10  
Featured Character(s): Jack, Sam, Daniel, Vala, Teal'c, Mitchell**  
**Pairings: J/S and D/V

Warnings: Maybe – later, this is going to get very slightly risqué.

A/N: From Marishal's story idea! Thanks Mari. And thanks to the reviewers who feed the monsters in my head.

Synopsis: Camping begins. Jack teaches Vala to fish, Daniel get's KP duty, Campfire confessions. Jack and Sam are still getting close. Teal'c continues to speak and Mitchell tells a scary story.

**Chapter Two: Campers **

The campsite, on land owned by some friend of Jack's, sat in a valley, surrounded by the snow capped Rocky Mountains. It bordered a meandering stream. The clearing, half-circled by evergreens, grew wild flowers in abundance.

Jack stopped the SUV a good ways from the actual campsite, where a picnic table and a stoned circled campfire pit sat in the middle of the clearing. They all piled out of the vehicle to stare in wonder at the beautiful landscape.

"Okay, campers, let's unload."

"Why'd we park so far?" Mitchell asked.

"It's the rules. No motorized vehicles are allowed beyond the tree line." Jack began to untie the ropes to the car top.

"Good plan." Mitchell went to the other side to help with the ropes.

Teal'c wandered off, appearing to recon the area. Ever the vigilant Jaffa.

"Where's the lady's room?" Vala whispered to Sam as the two carried some of the camping equipment to the picnic table.

Sam pursed her lips, "Ah, pick your spot," setting down the box of cook wear Sam gestured to the woods.

Vala's eyes widened. "Oh, I see. Why didn't we go to that cabin? You know, the one with the facilities and the electricity?"

"That's not camping according to Jack."

Like worker bees they all moved back and forth from the vehicle to the campsite unloading supplies.

Every time Daniel passed Vala he would try to speak to her, but she refused to even look his way.

He finally gave up trying. If she wasn't speaking to him, this might turn out to be the best camping trip he's been on in a long while. The thought encouraged him and he smiled. When they got back to the SGC he'd figure out a way to make it up to her.

It took all four of them to set up the three tents. They stood back and admired their handiwork.

"Vala and Sam," Jack pointed to the tent in the middle.

"Me and Daniel," he pointed to the tent on the left.

"Mitchell, Teal'c." He indicated the tent on the right. "Yep, that's it. Dark thirty is comin' in fast. Sam, you, T, and Mitchell gather some firewood for a honkin' big fire. Me and Vala will fish for our dinner."

Vala rubbed her palms together in cheerful anticipation.

"Hey, what about me?" Daniel asked.

"You're the kitchen wench. Get everything set up, make the coffee, chill the beer and make sure the fire is ready for fryin' the fish."

"How'd I get KP duty first?" Daniel placed his hands on his hips.

Walking away, fishing equipment in hand, and Vala trailing along, happily toting other fishing paraphernalia, Jack shouted back, "'cause you were a naughty boy in the car!"

The hands went in the pockets, the head dropped. Daniel stood unhappily alone in the clearing.

Settling on the bank, Jack started checking the reels on both fishing rods, rummaging through the assortment of hooks and choosing the correct ones. Vala, swatting at imagined insects, watched him work.

"What's that?" Vala pointed to the bait Jack attached to the line.

"It's a trout fly."

"It's quite pretty. I think I like that one. What's it called."

Jack rolled his eyes. "BH Caddis Pupa; you're not going to go all girly on me are you?"

"What do you mean?" Vala squatted by the fishing tackle box and poked around studying various flies.

"You know, 'yew, slimy fish, oh, poor little fishie,' and other fishing atrocities that make women squeamish." Finishing the tie, Jack tapped her on the shoulder. When she turned, he handed over the rod.

"You know my history," Standing, Vala began to test its weight, flicking the rod back and forth. "I don't believe there is anything left in the universe that could possibly make me squeamish…. General." She said it as though she was skeptical of his ability to hold that position.

Vala took a seat on the canvas stool beside Jack. He was looking at her oddly. "What?" She asked.

"Oh, nothing, I think you're gonna do just fine." Laughing, he tossed the line out. "Casting, 101." He began the lesson.

"She copied his cast, landing the fly to the right and just beyond his."

"Very good," He turned his face to her, beaming.

She smiled proudly.

--

Belly's full of fresh caught trout, the group sat in a circle around the fire. Beers were passed around.

Mitchell held a beer in one hand and a stick with the Smores in the other. He waggled the stick over the fire, "My granmaw used to say,"

Everyone groaned.

"What? You don't like my granmaw?"

"We love her, go one." Sam jabbed Jack in the ribs anticipating his response.

"Cut it out!" Jack bellowed.

"There's a 'No Tell – Motel down the road if you two want to get a room." Mitchell sucked down half the beer, tossed the can in the general direction of their garbage can, then burned his fingers pulling the Smores off the stick. "Yikes, hot! Anyway," he continued, wolfing down the marshmallow, chocolate delicacy, and pulling another beer from the cooler. "My granmaw used to say that you can tell your future spouse by staring at the fire. She says that you can see either the face of the person, or their name, or initials in the flickering flame."

"Did you just throw a beer can on the ground?"

"Jackson, it's a common camping practice, tomorrow we pick them up and when we leave we take them out with us."

"Oh."

"Kelno'reem." Teal'c stated.

In turn, each of them looked at the Jaffa. In the firelight, his face glowed golden; the emblem on his forehead appeared to shimmer.

"Go on." Jack prompted.

"It is a Jaffa's grandfather who would teach their young to stare into the flames and begin the practice of Kelno'reem. Instead of seeing something in the flame, you become the flame."

Vala leaned over to whisper in Daniel's ear. "See I told you he was talking a lot. I don't like the flames. I've been in them." She shivered.

Daniel resisted the urge to run a hand down her loose hair. He smiled kindly, but didn't know what to say. But she was talking to him again and that made him happy.

Silence stretched for a long while. Beers were replaced and more Smores were cooked in the quiet solitude. In the bowl of the mountains, you could look up and see a million stars. Many of which they had all visited.

"When I was a child," Daniel began, "I spent most of my life around camp fires on digs with my parents. I never knew them as anything but … what you all might have experienced around a dinner table with your family."

"Ha, not at my house, more like the …I'm sorry Daniel go on." Vala sat back to listen.

He felt a tug at his heartstrings and tried his best to ignore it. "We slept in tents and yurts and cooked outside. Breakfast, lunch and dinner were around the campfire. I've missed that. Being with family around the campfire."

"The first time I went camping, I fell into the campfire!" Sam laughed and Jack's head jerked around.

"What?"

"My dad went to look for more firewood, flashlight in hand. Mom had run to the car for something and my brother and I were chasing each other around the fire. I almost caught him and he reached back to push me away. I tripped over my own feet and landed right in the fire."

"What happened?" Vala leaned forward in horror.

"I got up, brushed the smoldering ashes from my jeans and beat the crap out of my brother!"

They all laughed.

Silence reigned again.

"I no longer like fires." Vala stated very quietly, "But here with you, safely in the circle of friends, I'm finding it quite nice." She ducked her head, folding her arms across her chest.

Daniel tossed his empty beer can across the campsite, then Mitchell followed, actually hitting the garbage can.

"Nice shot!" Jack quipped. After a brief pause he began to speak. "Charlie and I used to build campfires in the back yard." He took a deep steadying breath. "He'd gather all the little sticks, millions of them. And I'd get the bigger ones, we had to constantly be adding sticks to keep it going. We didn't have any big trees, or anyway to cut up firewood, so we'd just keep piling on the twigs. That boy loved a campfire."

Sam reached and squeezed his hand. And Jack O'Neill did the oddest thing. He leaned over and kissed her right on the mouth.

A little buzzed, tired from the trip and setting up camp they stared silently at the flames.

Mitchell began his story quietly into the silence. "It was a dark and stormy night, the couple had been parked in the woods for about an hour. Makin' out. They never heard the man ….." His deep southern drawl continued on.


	3. Chapter 3 It Was A Dark and Stormy Night

Title: Camping Can Be Fun

Author: spacegypsy1

Rating: Teen +  
Category: Action/Adventure/Romance  
Season: After Season 10  
Featured Character(s): Jack, Sam, Daniel, Vala, Teal'c, Mitchell**  
**Pairings: D/V and J/S

Warnings: not really, may get slightly risqué.

A/N: From Marishal's story idea! Thanks Mari.

Thanks to the reviewers – more voices in my head food!!!

Synopsis: Mitchell's story lands Vala into the hands of the Murdering hook man. Rain lands Jack in Sam's tent.

**Chapter Three: It Was A Dark And Stormy Night**

A light drizzle started not an hour after they all settled in the tents. Jack was snoring.

Water dripped in through the hole in the top of the tent; right above Daniel's head. He quietly gathered his sleeping bag, left the tent and after folding down the seats, crawled into the SUV and fell instantly into a deep sleep.

--

Vala couldn't sleep. She tossed and turned, waking Sam up several times.

"Vala," Sam's sleepy voice spoke across the pitch blackness, "Daniel's the kindest person I know. You can just look into his eyes to see how bad he feels."

"I know. But it still hurt." Vala unzipped her sleeping bag and stood. She gathered the bag and the pillow she'd brought along and moved towards the entrance.

"Where are you going?" Sam asked, concerned.

"I'm going to sleep in the car. I'll keep you awake all night."

"No you won't. I'm fine."

"Yes, I will."

"Okay, but if you want to come back, don't worry about waking me up. I'll know it's you."

With a sniffle Vala ducked out the doorway. She stood a moment in the dark drizzling rain trying to figure out where the damned SUV was parked. A distant flash of lightening reflected on the chrome straight across from where she stood. Vala dashed out into the night.

She'd left the flashlight somewhere in the tent. Feeling her way across the car she found the back door, opening it. At first she was disoriented trying to crawl in, until she realized the back seat had been folded down. How convenient. Crawling into her sleeping bag, she fluffed her slightly damp pillow and stuffed it under her head. It didn't take her five minutes to fall asleep.

The deluge of rain pummeled the roof of the car, waking Vala. Thunder roared and lightening split the sky. And someone, or something was in the vehicle with her. She went deathly still. A bear could have gotten in – she'd seen that commercial on television. Heart pounding she fought to control her frightened breath. The creature stirred, moved closer behind her, threw a paw across her.

Lightening flashed, illuminating the interior.

It wasn't a bear. A man's hand, palm flat, rested on her abdomen. Mitchell had told the story of the murdering hook man last night around the camp fire. Vala's eyes went round. What if the other hand was a hook? She couldn't move, she couldn't scream. She could barely breathe as fear overtook her.

The murdering hook man mumbled, snuggled up closer to her back, nuzzled her neck.

--

Jack's sleeping bag sat in a puddle in the leaking tent. He made a mad rush in the heavy downpour, sloshing across the sloppy mud, to the tent closest to him and burst through the opening.

Sam sat up with a gasp.

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare ya."

"Jack?"

"Carter?"

Jack turned the flash light on, holding it under his chin, it's eerie yellow light shining up his face. "It's me." He turned the beam to scan Carter, moving on the empty spot beside her and once again, the light came back to shine into her face.

Sam put a hand up to block the brightness from her eyes.

"Where's the spacemouseketeer?"

Sam brought her hand down to cover her mouth to keep from laughing. "In the SUV," she mumbled from behind the hand.

"Oh, shit!"

"What?"

"So's Daniel." A bolt of lightening, instantly followed by a boom of rolling thunder sent Jack scurrying. "Crap." He dropped the flashlight.

"What are you doing here?" Sam spoke through the darkness as Jack settled on the floor beside her.

"Our tent sprung a leak. My sleeping bag is three inches under water." He heard her soft laugh, the zipper of her sleeping bag, the rustle of her movement. "Come on, it's safe and dry in here."

"Safe? I don't think so," he slipped in beside her. "It's a little crowded in here."

"Shh, go to sleep." She turned her back to him.

He turned his back to her, "yeah, right. Sleep. Like that's gonna happen."

"Goodnight, sir." It was a thinly disguised order, from Col Samantha Carter to General Jack O'Neill.

Next Chapter: The Murdering Hook Man. The Murdering Hook Man tries to patch things up, Vala is unforgiving. Teal'c pegs the couple right. Mitchell gets the Vala flirty treatment. And Camp Counselor Jack and Camper Sam have a moment.


	4. Chapter 4 The Murdering Hook Man

Title: Camping Can Be Fun

Author: spacegypsy1

Rating: Teen  
Category: Action/Adventure/Romance  
Season: After Season 10  
Featured Character(s): Jack, Sam, Daniel, Vala, Teal'c, Mitchell**  
**Pairings: D/V and J/S

Warnings: None

A/N: From Marishal's story idea! Thanks Mari, for the idea and keeping me under control. And thanks Supershipper for the beta.

Synopsis: The Murdering Hook Man tries to patch things up, Vala is unforgiving. Teal'c pegs the couple right. Mitchell gets the Vala flirty treatment. And Camp Counselor Jack and Camper Sam have a moment.

**Chapter Four: The Murdering Hook Man**

Daniel tightened his arm around her waist, pulling her flush against him. Then suddenly he let go, pulling back.

She knew the instant the murdering hook man awoke. Having lived through unbelievable tragedies, surviving a Goa'uld host, burning to death, just to name a few, she was going to die at the hands of some…..

"Vala?" It was Daniel's sleepy, confused voice.

"Oh, Daniel!" She cried in relief, turning over and rolling to lie atop him. She kissed him all over his face, mouth and neck. She hugged him, tears streaming down her face, then she kissed him again. "Daniel, it's you. It's really you!" And she kissed him again.

Dazed and confused he let her kiss him. Damn but she was the best. No woman had ever kissed him like Vala Mal Doran. Thankfully she had forgiven him. It was just her way of telling him.

Finally she moved off of him.

Daniel propped himself up on one elbow and grinned.

Vala struggled out of her sleeping bag and slapped him across the face. "Oh, I hate you!" Throwing open the SUV door she jumped out.

He sat up, mouth agape and watched her stomp off through the mud. "Nope, not forgotten, not forgiven."

Jack, Mitchell and Teal'c standing side by side near the Coleman stove, coffee cups in hand, watched the scene with interest. The morning had brought clear skies, and bright sunshine.

Jack took a sip of coffee. "Like Wiley Coyote and the Roadrunner." He stuffed the remainder of his breakfast, the last of four sweet rolls, into his mouth.

"Hum, I don't know, maybe Tweety and Sylvester." Mitchell refilled his coffee cup, stepping carefully around the mud puddles.

"Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker." Teal'c drank the last of his coffee, holding his cup out for Mitchell to fill.

"She being Darth Vader?" Mitchell asked.

"Indeed."

"That works," Jack held his cup out for Mitchell, too.

When Sam arrived at the picnic table, the three of them joined her. "This is our hearty camping breakfast?" She asked Jack.

"Yeah, so?"

Daniel, all sleepy eyed and without his glasses, sat beside Sam and grabbed three of the sweet rolls.

"Mornin' sleepy head." Jack raised his cup in salute.

"Mornin' sunshine," Mitchell merely grinned.

Daniel squinted his eyes dangerously.

"DanielJackson, if you continue to continually manipulate your face and eyes in that manner, I have heard it said you may be in danger of permanently affixing that glare to your eyes." Teal'c ended his dissertation, sitting quietly, expression blank.

Daniel smiled. "And if I continually, continue to affix a smile?"

"Possibly the same result. Would it not be better to be permanently smiling as opposed to permanently frowning?"

Hearing the Jaffa's comment, Vala approached the table. She perked up and plastered a silly smile on her face. Vanity must survive at all costs.

"Cameron?" Saccharine and sultry, Vala greeted Mitchell, sitting beside him at the picnic table.

"Vala." Mitchell looked at her warily.

"Could you please pass me one of those sweat rolls?" Her smile was alluring.

Picking one roll up with two fingers, Mitchell plopped it on her plate.

She smiled warmly, patting her eyelashes, "thank you."

He scratched his head. "Sure."

"And thank you for yesterday, in the car. That was gallant."

He smiled, unsure of her motive. "Not a problem."

With a disgusted sigh, Daniel picked up his plate and moved away.

"Oh, I get it." Mitchell looked around the table, making eye contact with Jack, moving on to Sam and finally Teal'c. All three watched with interest. "Don't mix me up in your little lover's quarrel." He said turning to Vala.

"Cameron, please. I only wished to thank you. Really."

Again he looked around the table and met smirks and thin lipped smiles. "Sure. Ok. You're welcome."

"Your Camp Counselor, Mr. General Jack, will now give you your schedules for today, gather 'round." Jack stood at the head of the table. No one seemed the least bit interested. He checked his watch. "Due to rain, our hiking trip will be delayed an hour." Taking his sunglasses, he put them on to check the sky, "it should dry out enough, but we'll have to cut it short today. We….."

Except for Sam, the campers were moving away.

"Hey!" he yelled, "meet at the trial head in one hour." He looked at his only camper. "They can be so obstinate."

Camper Sam looked up in stunned silence.

"I have a dictionary. Let's take a little private hike into the woods." Jack wiggled his eyebrow in rapid motion.

Silently, Sam left the table in the direction of her tent.

"There are chores to be done before the fun!" He called out. Jack looked at the messy table. "Come on guys, play nice!" Ignored again he began to clear up the littered table.

--

Daniel caught up with Vala. "Hey?"

Lifting her chin, she turned away.

He gently took her arm.

She snatched it free. "Don't touch me. You might get… those things you human's get… those coolies."

"Cooties?"

She pushed every ounce of air in her lungs out in frustration and walked away, hips swaying, pigtails bouncing.

Defeated yet again, Daniel returned to assist Jack in clean up.

Jack looked up with a grateful grin. "Having a little…."

"Don't"

"Fine, I coulda been stacking papers on my desk. But I gave it all that up for you guys. So cut me some slack." When he didn't get any he grumble, "T's right, I think it's permanent." Jack stalked off leaving Daniel with the mess.

--

An hour later, after inspecting the trail, Jack came back to the muddy campsite. The track up the mountain seemed safe enough, a bit muddy in places, but the canapé of trees protected it from too much of the rain. They'd be fine as long as the stuck to the trail. No one was about, so Jack went to get his backpack, fill his canteen and rouse the hikers into action.

Next Chapter: A Hiking We Will Go. Vala, fashion icon, boggles Daniel's brain. Camp counselor Jack, pulls camper Sam into the woods! Daniel lags and gets the best view, Mitchell and Teal'c observe.


	5. Chapter 5 A Hiking We Will Go

Title: Camping Can Be Fun

Author: spacegypsy1

Rating: Teen +  
Category: Action/Adventure/Romance  
Season: After Season 10  
Featured Character(s): Jack, Sam, Daniel, Vala, Teal'c, Mitchell**  
**Pairings: D/V and J/S

Warnings: None

A/N: Marishal wins the golden lasso award for pulling me back from way out there – Thanks Mari. Supershipper beta, super as ever.

Synopsis: Vala, fashion icon, boggles Daniel's brain. Camp counselor Jack, pulls camper Sam into the woods! Daniel lags and gets the best view, Mitchell and Teal'c observe.

**Chapter Five: A Hiking We Will Go**

They gathered, preparing for the hike. Vala stood staring up the trail with a walking stick she had fashioned from a relatively straight tree branch. The other five stared at Vala's hiking attire. Turning to see what was keeping them she noted their peculiar stares.

"What are you wearing?" Jack asked, perplexed.

"Lederhosen. That's what they wear in the Alps for hiking. I researched it on the internet before we left. Aren't they charming?"

All five of them blinked in answer.

"Oh, yeah, just charming." Mitchell hunted for a spare pocket for the extra protein bar he held.

"Cameron, I can take that for you," she turned so the pack faced him. Her eyes lifted to Daniel, before she turned away, peeked over her shoulder at Mitchell and cooed, "I have plenty of room. Put as much in there as you like."

Daniel took off his glasses, rubbed his eyes and put them back on before tying the bandana on his head. _Thank you Mitchell, that was so gallant, _he mimicked her voice inside his head. He watched her obvious attempt to make him jealous. Ha! She might be his friend, and he was truly sorry he'd hurt her feelings, but she certainly couldn't make him jealous. There would have to be some kind of foundation beyond friendship for that scenario to fly!

"Alright, campers, listen up." Jack wiped his sun glasses on his shirttail, slipped them into place and looked skyward. "Watch your step. Follow your leader. Everybody pick a buddy." Vala took a quick step up beside Mitchell. Grinning at Jack's antics, Sam moved closer to Teal'c. That left Jack in the lead and Daniel alone on the six.

Daniel wanted to go home. Lagging behind he followed them up the mountain trail.

Sam had left her 'buddy' and moved to walk far ahead, beside Jack. Mitchell, Teal'c and Vala meandered along the path, barely keeping them in sight. Vala occasionally would turn to look behind her, but never spotted Daniel. They could hear him coming up the trail behind them. But he was moving slow, never catching up.

Safely distanced from the other hikers, Jack took Sam's hand. When she looked down at their laced fingers, Jack explained. "It's still muddy, I wouldn't want you to slip and fall."

"Good plan."

Neither of them spoke again as they quietly moved along, enjoying the peacefulness.

Suddenly, Jack darted into the clump of woods, pulling Carter with him. Taking her shoulders, he pushed her back against the trunk of an Aspen and kissed her. Then, just as suddenly, he yanked her back on the trail. All before Sam could utter more than one short lived, lip muffled squeak.

Hearing the others approaching, Sam let go of his hand, smoothed her Jack tousled hair, took a calming breath and waited for their companions.

"Where's Daniel?" she questioned the troops.

Shrugging shoulders, Mitchell said, "I don't know." Followed by Vala's, "Who knows? Behind us somewhere."

"We could hear him following along the trail, moving slowly. I believe he purposefully lags behind. It may have to do with…." Teal'c stopped mid sentence seeing the looks of surprise on his friends' faces.

"Wow, Muscles," Vala commented, "I'm not sure I have ever heard so many words come out of you."

Teal'c answered with a raised eyebrow.

Removing his pack, Jack retrieved his canteen and took a swig, passing it on to Carter. He brushed off a fallen tree trunk, indicated for Sam to sit, then sat close beside her.

Sighing, rolling her head, stretching her back, Vala lowered her pack to the ground and sat on top of it across the trail from Jack and Sam, elbows on knees and head in hands. Both Mitchell and Teal'c sat Indian style beside her. Teal'c passed his canteen down, and drank when it came back to him.

Coming up the path, Daniel moved into view. He stopped when he spotted them waiting there for him.

Luckily for Vala she was not sitting on a log to fall off of. He looked utterly delicious. There was something about that blue bandana that made his eyes look unnaturally beautiful. She closed her eyes to block the image, but it had been permanently burned into her pupils.

"Hey, guys," he said coming to stand in the middle of the trail between them. "What's going on?"

"Nothin', just sittin'." Jack answered. "Water?" He offered up the canteen.

"No thanks, just had some."

"Takin' the scenic tour?"

"Yep."

"Care to join the group?"

"Nope."

Jack nodded. He stood and slipped on his pack. The others followed suit.

As the hikers headed up the trail, those unnaturally beautiful blue eyes could not look away from how nicely Vala's backside fit in her tight, suede lederhosen. One day, when he lay dying, that image would still be burned to the inside of his eyelids… _Yep, to the brink of madness._

Next: Chapter Six:** Okay, Here's The Plan.** The ladies take a slip and slide. Jack does the 'damn it Carter' routine repeatedly, Daniel does the heart in the throat routine. Teal'c cracks a joke. Mitchell tries to invent a new word.


	6. Chapter 6 Okay Here's The Plan

Title: Camping Can Be Fun

Author: spacegypsy1

Rating: Teen +  
Category: Action/Adventure/Romance  
Season: After Season 10  
Featured Character(s): Jack, Sam, Daniel, Vala, Teal'c, Mitchell**  
**Pairings: D/V and J/S

Warnings: None

Synopsis: The ladies take a slip and slide. Jack does the 'damn it Carter' routine repeatedly, Daniel does the heart in the throat routine. Teal'c is Teal'c. Mitchell tries to invent a new word.

**Chapter Six: Okay, Here's The Plan**

"I think we're about half way." Jack studied the landscape. The view from up here was breathtaking and all five of them stared in awe of their surroundings.

Off to the left, beyond the small stand of trees, the clearing held silvery green grass and a profusion of wild flowers.

They sat on a rock outcropping on the other side of the trail.

"Okay, campers, let's eat, enjoy natures little show," Jack waved an arm towards the clearing, "then head on back." He checked the time, "yeah, there'll be enough daylight left for fishin'" Jack grinned at Vala.

"Oh goody!" She rubbed her hands together, "What kind of fish are we after today?"

He frowned, "trout."

"Hmm, don't you have any Caddy Bopper flies for another variety?"

"Caddis Pupa" Jack corrected, "It's a trout stream."

Sam laughed at Vala's disappointed expression.

"I see. Well." Vala puffed out a discouraged sigh, and perched on a rock, tossing her pack next to Sam's.

They sat quietly eating the fruit and power bars they brought along.

"T?"

"Yes, O'Neill?"

"How far back do you think he is?"

"Less than a click."

"If he's moving slow, we might have to drag him home on the down side."

"I do not believe DanielJackson will allow you to drag him." The eyebrow went up and Jack smiled at the joke.

Finished eating, Sam and Vala wandered off towards the woods, heading for the flowers beyond.

"Where ya going?" Jack looked up from foraging in his pack for more food.

"General, didn't your momma ever tell you not to ask a lady heading off into the woods, where she's going?" Mitchell looked cockeyed Jack.

"Sorry, I don't know what I was thinking." Jack grinned watching the women.

At the edge of the stand of trees, Sam and Vala looked down the six foot drop. Exploring their best route, Sam walked along the edge, Vala right behind her.

Sam turned back to the boys, to get her bearings. Her foot slipped on the muddy slope. She yelped, Vala grabbed her shoulder to steady her, but Sam's momentum was too great. Landing on her back Sam sliced through the mud, feet first, taking Vala with her. Vala went down head first on her belly, following Sam. Mud, twigs and wet leaves did nothing to slow their downward decent.

Jack stood immediately when the two disappeared from view. Hesitating only a second he yelled, "Carter!?" and took off at a dead run. Teal'c and Mitchell right behind him.

All three reached the edge at the same time and gazed down at the two laughing women.

"Damn it Carter, are you okay?"

"Oh, boy…. I think so," she called out. Turning she asked, "You Vala?"

Vala rolled over to her back, arms flung out, spitting mud and leaves from her mouth, "Oh, just marvelous."

The two laughed again.

"We're comin' down to get you." Mitchell looked from one nutty woman to the other.

"Good. I don't think I can move," Laughing still, Vala rolled her head to look at Sam.

Sam echoed her laughter, pushing herself up to a sitting position. "Ow!" she rubbed her back.

"Sit still Carter, I'm on my way down."

"Sir. You're knee?" Mitchell reminded the general.

Before they could say anything, Teal'c was on the move.

"Mitchell, wait here, I'm going back for the first aid kit."

"Bring some rope!" Mitchell yelled at Jack's retreating back.

Jack started dumping everything out of the backpacks, looking for anything he could use. "Damn it, Carter, you scared the crap out of me!" He complained to the empty backpack in his hand.

He stood up, looked down the trail and walked a few feet. "Daniel!" he yelled, "Get your ass up here. Now! We need your help!"

Further down the trail Daniel rolled his eyes, barely picking up his pace.

Teal'c struggled with the slippery mud on the steep incline.

"I couldn't fine the rope," Jack told Mitchell as he ran up, out of breath.

The two women were sitting up, watching Teal'c take slow unsteady steps down the mucky grade of the slope.

"This could take forever, I know I brought rope, I'll go look again." Mitchell was half way through the woods, before Jack thought to ask, "Hey! Are they okay?"

Running backwards, Mitchell responded, "They're either in shock or they had a really, really funny ride down, 'cause they can't stop looking at each other and laughing."

Jack turned back to the scene below. "Damn it Carter," he said again to no one.

Mitchell pilfered through his empty pack then sorted through the pile on the ground. Finally he remembered his side zipper pocket where he found the coil of rope. When he stood up to leave he heard something and yelled down the trail, "JACKSON! Get your sorry ass up here." With the rope in hand Mitchell ran through the woods back to the scene of the accident.

Daniel shook his head and picked up the pace a little more.

"How are they?" Mitchell uncoiled the rope as Jack stared down the ravine.

"They're not laughing anymore."

Tying the rope to a tree they tossed it down to Teal'c. Catching it easily, Teal'c used the rope to climb back up, "I believe, O'Neill, I will try another direction."

O'Neill, Mitchell and Teal'c walked the edge.

"It may be a bit further down here, but I believe that the footing will be more solid. Did you not retrieve rope from my pack also, ColonelMitchell?"

Mitchell shook his head, "Couldn't find it."

The three looked down at the women sitting below. Vala had laid back down, Carter, still sat, now one leg up and her head resting on her knee.

"Hold on," Jack told them, "we'll get you out of this mess in a jiffy."

"O'Neill, ColonellMitchell, if you will secure this rope to that tree," Teal'c pointed to a sturdy evergreen, "I will retrieve my rope to add to this one."

Back on the path, Teal'c went right to the internal zippered compartment for the rope. He stood, looked down the trail and bellowed in full Jaffa voice, "DanielJackson, we need your assistance, ValaMalDoran and ColonelCarter are injured."

Down the path, Daniel's heart skipped a beat and he took off.

Like a deer running through the forest, they heard him coming. "Over here." Jack called.

Daniel crashed through the woods coming to a sudden stop in front of Mitchell and Jack.

"It's about time." Mitchell scolded.

"What the hell's going on?" Daniel looked down the ravine as Teal'c descended on the doubled length rope. Vala laid, eyes closed, spread eagle upon the ground. Sam, beside her, sat head to knee.

Erratically beating heart now in his throat, he called frantically, "Vala? Sam?"

Vala popped straight up like a Goa'uld from a sarcophagus, "My Daniel!!" She gave him a reassuring toothy grin.

Sam smiled up at him, "we're okay." She didn't sound okay even to herself. She cleared her throat, adding, "really." She looked at Vala and the two started laughing again.

Daniel, eyebrows furrowed in confusion, looked from Mitchell to Jack.

They both shrugged.

While Jack and Mitchell stood, hands on hips watching Teal'c reach the clearing; Daniel started his descent down the rope.

"Smartass." Jack shook his head.

"Eight years. How'd you do it for eight years?"

"Hey, I only had the one spacemonkey, you got that plus the spacemouseketeer."

"Sir, wouldn't that be spacemonkeyketeer?"

"WHAT!?"

"Nevermind."

Next: Chapter Seven: **First Aid and Sleeping Arrangements**. The nutty, laughing world of Sam and Vala. Scratches, scrapes, and Nox hair, Teal'c to the rescue, befuddled Jack and Mitchell, Jack and Daniel banter. Musical sleeping arrangements continue.


	7. Chapter 7 FirstAidSleeping Arrangements

Title: Camping Can Be Fun

Author: spacegypsy1

Rating: Teen +  
Category: Action/Adventure/Romance  
Season: After Season 10  
Featured Character(s): Jack, Sam, Daniel, Vala, Teal'c, Mitchell**  
**Pairings: D/V and J/S

Warnings: None

A/N: Thanks MariShal and Supershipper. Clearing debris!

Synopsis: Chapter 7: The nutty, laughing world of Sam and Vala. Scratches, scrapes, and Nox hair, Teal'c to the rescue, befuddled Jack and Mitchell, Jack and Daniel banter. Musical sleeping arrangements continue.

**Chapter Seven: First Aid and Sleeping Arrangements**

In the clearing, Teal'c comforted Sam, checking for serious injury.

"I haven't forgiven you," Vala wrapped her arms around Daniel's neck as he knelt to hug her in relief.

"Are you okay, are you hurt?" He rubbed his hands up and down her arms and legs.

"Everywhere. I hurt everywhere, but it's nothing serious.

"Can you stand up?"

"I think so."

Supporting her Daniel helped her up. He wiped at dried mud on her face and she winced. Using his thumb he gently traced a scratch on her cheek.

"Will I be scarred?"

"Horribly." He teased, eyes twinkling.

"I still hate you." She knocked his shoulder with the palm of her hand, then winced at the sting it caused her.

"I know." He kissed the scratch on her cheek, tucked muddied hair behind her ear, took her hands, palms up, and inspected the abrasions.

"ColonelCarter apparently has a sprained ankle, some scratches; otherwise she appears to be well."

"He's been rattling on like that all day." Vala whispered to Daniel who had no idea what she was talking about.

When they finally reached the top, Vala laid on the wet ground. Sam, still leaning on Teal'c began to laugh and Vala, still prone on the soil, joined her. Teal'c smiled. Then Mitchell and Jack were laughing.

"I don't get it." His comment sent them over the edge and they shared a moment of hysterical laughter. Daniel glared at them.

"Holy Hannah, was I surprised! Swoosh! I was flying feet first." Sam paused to catch her breath, "down the mud slide. I had no idea Vala was right behind me…" more laughter bubbled up. "and.. until I… then she slid head first to a … stop beside me!" Sam held her sides, bending over in laughter.

Swiping at the twigs, leaves and mud in her hair, Vala grinned at Sam.

"ValaMalDoran," Teal'c, one brow raised, head tilted to the side looked at her. "You look remarkably like the Nox."

Another round of hysterical laughter followed.

Daniel shook his head.

Vala fell back to the moist earth. "I couldn't see a thing. Mud and leaves covered my eyes… " she laughed until she hiccupped.

Daniel grabbed her sides to haul her up off the ground.

"Ouch."

He pulled at her shirt, bringing it out from under the suspenders of her silly lederhosen, clear up to her bra.

She slapped at his hands. "Stop that!"

Daniel swatted her slapping hands aside, "hold still!" Looking at the cuts and scratches on her stomach, he whistled, "Where's the first aid kit?" He looked accusingly at Mitchell. Jack handed it over. No one was laughing now.

--

The sun had set by the time they reached the end of the trail. Both Daniel and Jack flashlights in hand, guided the party safely into camp.

Teal'c heated water on the Coleman stove, washed up the wounded as best he could by the light of a lantern and turned them over to Mitchell.

Mitchell administered first aid and deemed them healthy enough. Told them to wash up at the stream and get to bed. "Here," he handed them both some Ibuprofen and first aid cream packets.

"Muscles?"

"Yes, ValaMalDoran?"

"Did you bring extra T-shirts?"

"I did."

"May I borrow one?"

"You can."

"Thanks," she kissed his cheek. When he returned with the large shirt, Vala held it up to her body. "It's a 'T' shirt. It's shaped like a T and it belongs to T. Isn't that clever!"

The guys scrounged up what dry wood they could find. Their pitiful attempt hissed and spit as they sipped at beer around the smoldering fire. Sam was the first to walk past, coming from the stream. She passed by them, through the lantern's light.

Mitchell, Jack, Daniel and Teal'c watched her limp past. She wore that black tank top that fitted to her curves and low rider flowing pajama bottoms. Drying her hair, towel partly over her face she missed the open mouthed stares as she ducked into the tent.

Vala, moving slowly, came next. Teal'c's big black T-shirt hit her mid thigh. She'd pulled her damp hair up in a band at the back of her head and the tail swung in rhythm with her hips. Just before she left the circle of light from the lantern, she paused, reached up and tightened the hair band, bringing the hem of the shirt ridiculously high, then dropped her arms. She disappeared into the tent.

A chorus of heavy sighs went around the dying fire.

"Well, campers, I suppose it's bed time. Danny-boy, I guess it's you and me in the SUV, being tentless and all." Jack chunked a beer can into the fire. "All in all, it was an entertaining day." .

With a stick, Daniel scooted the can out of the coals. "They could have been seriously injured!"

"Jez Daniel! What the hell has gotten into you? You're acting like a pissy teenager mom and dad dragged along!"

Daniel stood, throwing his beer can into the fire and stalked off towards the SUV.

"Nite son!" Jack called laughing.

"If you say one more word," Daniel's voice came out of the dark, "I'm going to shoot you."

"You brought a gun?' Mitchell yelled in Jackson's general direction, amazed.

"No but Jack has one under the seat of the SUV." They heard the door slam.

Sam tried to sleep on her stomach. Vala on her back. For an hour they moaned and groaned, tried to get comfortable, before both finally drifted off to fitful sleep.

Late into the night Vala woke with a horrified gasp. Sam, out cold, didn't stir. Heart beating frantically, Vala sat in the eerie darkness.

"Sam?"

No answer. Gently, Vala shook Sam's shoulder. No response. Fear tightened in Vala's chest. In her dream, the murdering hook man had ripped her stomach open, and he looked like Ori Prior Daniel!"

Kicking wildly at the sleeping bag, Vala freed herself, grabbed her flashlight and left in search of the only comfort that could calm her.

--

In the SUV, Jack wrestled with his sleeping bag zipper. Again. "Crap!"

"What now!" Daniel's tone was angry.

"Nothing!"

"Then go to sleep."

"You go to sleep."

"Jack!"

"Daniel!"

"I know where the gun is."

"Yeah? Well, **I** know where the bullets are."

Jack stopped fighting the zipper – it wasn't cold anyway – he relaxed, closed his eyes.

Daniel laid on his back, hand behind his head, staring unseeing in the dark.

Jack rolled to his side, "I think I lost the car keys on the trail."

"Oh, I forgot to tell you I found them."

The door yanked open, the flashlight beam, like a thousand watt search light, scanned the interior. Both Jack and Daniel came up on their elbows. The light landed on Daniel's bare chest, swung to Jack's eyes and back to Daniel.

"Daniel?" Vala sounded panicked.

"Crap." Jack kicked out of his sleeping bag, gathered it up and slipped past Vala, heading to Sam's tent.

Next Chapter: Chapter Eight: Smarty-pants – Or not. Vala practices her overt innuendo's on poor Daniel, Sam invites Jack into her sleeping bag, poison ivy appears (sing the song here) and I have no idea where Mitchell and Teal'c are.


	8. Chapter 8 Smartypants or not

Title: Camping Can Be Fun

Author: spacegypsy1

Rating: Teen +  
Category: Action/Adventure/Romance  
Season: After Season 10  
Featured Character(s): Jack, Sam, Daniel, Vala, Teal'c, Mitchell**  
**Pairings: D/V and J/S

Warnings: None

A/N: Thanks MariShal, story goddess, and MariShal and Supershipper, beta extraordinaire.

Synopsis: Chapter 8: Vala practices her overt innuendo's on poor Daniel, Sam invites Jack into her sleeping bag, poison ivy appears (sing the song here) and I have no idea where Mitchell and Teal'c are.

**Chapter Eight: Smarty-pants – or not**

Climbing in SUV, Vala sat legs flat out, her back to the front seat. The big T-shirt rode up her legs and she pulled it down.

"What's wrong?"

"I had a dream. That god awful hook man – it was you. All priorized and evil."

"Come here." Daniel opened up the sleeping bag, spread it over them. She lay quietly on his arm, hand on his chest. "You forgive me?" He asked.

"No, but you are earning a lot of forgiveness points tonight." He couldn't see her soft smile.

"Smarty-pants." He squeezed her shoulder.

"Jack called me that. I didn't understand it then, and I don't understand it now. Especially now, since I'm not wearing any pants."

"Holy…. Buckets, Vala!"

She grinned, wide and toothy, but he had no idea in the shroud of the dark SUV.

Daniel turned away from her, eyes open wide to blackness. There would be no sleeping tonight.

"Good night, hook man." She whispered, still grinning foolishly.

--

"Jack?"

"Carter."

"What are you doing here?" She pushed herself up by one arm and searched the darkness for him.

He didn't answer. He settled into his sleeping bag beside her. Close beside her.

"Ah, good night, sir."

"Yeah." Taking a hold on her sleeping bag, he pulled her, sleeping bag and all, the short distance to his side, wrapped his arms around her and mumbled, "sleep tight."

"Oh, boy… like that's gonna happen." She answered.

Jack was already snoring.

Morning light flooded the tent. Sam sat up to find Jack watching her, up on one elbow, cheek to hand. "Good morning."

Groaning she tried to stretch her aching back and winced in pain. Immediately concerned, he turned her around and pulled her shirt up. He paused; she wasn't wearing a bra. Then he inspected her back. "You look like you've been tied to the whipping post. Damn it, Carter why didn't you say something?" He fumbled around until he found the antibiotic cream Mitchell had given her.

Putting cream in his hands, he rubbed his palms vigorously and started at her shoulders, then stopped, more closely inspecting her lower back.

When he stopped, she turned her head to him.

"Carter?"

"Hmmm?"

Even though daylight lit the tent, Jack retrieved a flashlight for a clearer look.

"What?" Her head twisted further back.

"I think you've got poison ivy, too."

Sam covered her face with her hands, shook her head in defeat.

"I'm gonna get some poison ivy lotion. I'll be right back."

When he left, she pulled her shirt down, relaxed back on her stomach, head on pillow and wondered if this trip could possibly get any worse.

--

Vala was hot. Her belly itched, ached, stung. Trying to scratch proved useless. The abrasions and bruises making any attempt impossible. "Ahhh!"

Daniel turned, still half asleep. "Now what?"

"I'm hot."

He got up and rolled down the two side windows, letting in morning light as well as the breeze. She was disappointed that he wore pajama bottoms.

"And my tummy is itching and stings."

He reached over the front seat to get the other first aid kit. She stared at his nice butt.

"Anything else?"

Shaking her head, she thought she better not verbalize that!

Taking the sleeping bag, he covered her just under her belly button. "Ok, let's have a look."

Vala pulled the shirt up, running her hands under the shirt, pulling clear up to her breast, where her hands, one on each, cupped them.

When he turned back from gathering his supplies from the first aid kit, his heart stopped. Dead. The brink of madness was upon him and any moment he would fall into the never ending abyss.

The cover had slipped down her hips. Which were covered in modest, boy's boxer shorts. His eyes went to hers. She was grinning the closed tooth, wide, Valaesque 'I got ya!' grin.

He laughed, rubbing the cold ointment on her abrasions. Her stomach muscles twitched. He had a difficult time keeping his eyes on her belly and not her hands. The top of her ribs were covered in scratches, but the lower stomach, around her navel was screaming poison ivy.

He stopped applying the cream.

"The palms of my hands?" She waggled her eyebrows.

"You've got poison ivy." Daniel sat back on his heels.

"What!?" Sitting up, she dropped her hands, but gratefully, for Daniel's sake, the shirt dropped in place.

He pushed her back down, lifted the shirt just past the redness, and administered poison ivy lotion.

"What else can go wrong?" She closed her eyes.

Remembering the hands on the breasts, he answered, "Plenty."

**STOP! WARNING S P O I L E R S BELOW!!! **

Next: Chapter Nine: **The Swimming Hole.** Some bikinis befuddle the boys. Daniel makes some water playing mistakes regarding Vala. Sam tries to drown Jack, Mitchell shows off, but it's Teal'c who wins the day!


	9. Chapter 9 The Swimming Hole

Title: Camping Can Be Fun

Author: spacegypsy1

Rating: Teen +  
Category: Action/Adventure/Romance  
Season: After Season 10  
Featured Character(s): Jack, Sam, Daniel, Vala, Teal'c, Mitchell**  
**Pairings: D/V and J/S

Warnings: None

A/N: Thanks MariShal, story goddess, and MariShal and Supershipper, betas extraordinaire.

Synopsis: Chapter Nine: The Swimming Hole. Some bikinis befuddle the boys. Daniel makes some water playing mistakes regarding Vala. Sam tries to drown Jack, Mitchell shows off, but it's Teal'c who wins the day!

**Chapter Nine: The Swimming Hole**

"It's not for swimming," Jack griped as Vala, in the smallest bikini he had ever seen, waded in. "It's for fishing," he added quietly watching her hips disappear into the stream. He hadn't even notice the bruises on her chest.

"Ahhh. It's cold and my skin is on fire." Vala sank down bringing her shoulders under the gratefully cooling water.

"Hi, Sir," Sam sauntered past, her bikini, though not as skimpy as Vala's was no less provocative.

"Son of a bitch." He slapped both hands to his face, covering his eyes in hopes that they would not pop out of his head. He didn't even notice the scratches on her back.

Jack, leaving his fishing equipment where it lay, turned on his heels and marched back to camp. There he found the other three, sitting on the picnic bench staring sightless in the direction of the stream.

Mitchell finally shook his head, and with mouth still agape wandered off towards the water. Teal'c and Daniel raced to catch up with him.

"Son of a bitch!" Jack slammed his hands on his hips and spoke to the dead fire. "This isn't camping and it isn't fishing!" It only took him another minute to once again turn on his heels and wander back the way he came.

The men pretended to fish. The women floated, swam, frolicked. The men pretended not to notice. The women pretended to not notice how they noticed.

"Men will be boys." Sam commented, relaxing in the cooling water.

Vala suddenly stood straight up. "Samantha?"

"Hmmm?" Sam floated nearby.

"Do fish bite?"

"Sometimes, why?"

"Because something is nibbling at my heels."

"They won't hurt you."

Vala shuffled her feet and stood waiting.

Nothing happened. Looking to the bank she noticed Daniel missing. Well, she'd just wait until he returned to get out. After all she wasn't going to waste the good money – his credit card money – that she'd spent on this, oh so perfect bikini.

"You know, it amazes me."

"What?" Sam's lazy voice drifted across the water.

"How these tiny pieces of fabric cost more than an entire outfit."

Sam laughed. "I know what you mean."

With a squeak, Vala lifted her ankle off the bottom of the stream. "There it is again. That nibbling."

"Just ignore…."

Vala screamed and disappeared beneath the surface. Sam jolted, fighting to stand up. "Vala! Jack! Help! Something has …."

Vala and Daniel burst to the surface. She was choking and spitting, he was laughing his head off!

"That was not funny, Daniel." Sam's heart was still beating crazy.

"You say somethin' Carter." Jack called, laughing, from the bank.

She glared at him. He stopped laughing.

Vala turned on Daniel and by the look in his eye, Sam could see he immediately saw the flaw in his plan. Vala was going to kill him.

Vala leaped up and forward, taking the heel of her hand to his chin, getting a rewarding grunt, and pushed his head underwater with her other hand.

He came up sputtering. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I was just playing!" He spun around trying to find her. Although he had removed his shirt, socks and shoes, he still wore jeans. The weight was hampering his retreat process.

She came out of nowhere, from behind, pushing him under again. This time when he came up she was on his shoulders, leg locking his head. He'd been here before. Not a good place to be. He dove frontward, rewarded by her sudden squeal.

Daniel was a strong swimmer and he sliced through the water like a champion. When he got as close to the bank as he could; he stood. Her hand went into the waistband of his pants and she yanked him backwards.

Mitchell and Teal'c watched from the bank.

"I believe, ColonelMitchell, this to be as entertaining as the mud wrestling I once attended."

"Indeed?" Mitchell quipped.

Sam noticed Jack missing. She swam to the bank, stood ankle deep and watched for him. But she never expected him to come from behind. In one movement, he slammed into her, locked his arms around her, and twisted to take her back, kicking and screaming, into the water.

Mitchell was studying the trees near the water. "I'm goin' for the rope."

"You intend to tie them up?"

"No," he pointed to the large branch that snaked out over the water. "I intend to tie it up."

Teal'c raised a brow in question.

--

With rope in hand, Mitchell shimmied up the tree, across the large branch and tied the rope. He dropped it in the water right in front of Daniel, who ignored it momentarily, keeping an eye out for his assailant. She was helping Sam drown Jack.

Daniel took the end of the rope to the bank. "You first." He told Mitchell. Teal'c came over to observe, thoroughly intrigued. Mitchell stripped of his shirt, shoes and socks. Taking the rope, he backed up, found the tree stump he'd spotted earlier, stepped up, grabbed the rope higher and swung out over the water. He let go a little too soon and almost landed right on top of Vala.

"Whoa! Now that's what I'm talkin' about!"

Daniel went next. Teal'c observed, watching carefully.

Vala wanted to try it next. Hilarious disaster ensued. Unable to hold on long enough, she landed belly first beside Daniel.

When she popped up out of the water she glared at Daniel, "that is the most ridiculous idea!"

"Oh, I guess it's a guy thing." He smirked, wagging his head back and forth.

Vala snatched the rope and hips swaying tried again. This time she landed directly on her target.

"You could have broken my neck!" Daniel shoved his hand through his hair.

"Oh, I guess it's a girlie thing." She tossed the rope, slapping him in the face with the wet end.

"Quit it!" He rubbed his stinging cheek.

"I still hate you!" Vala left the water, turned, hands on hips and sent a deadly menacing look across to him. She adjusted the miniscule bikini bottoms, popping the side strings, and with squinted eyes gave him a childish look.

"Hey, T." Jack called, "it's your turn."

"O'Neill, I must agree with ValaMalDoran. I participated in this event as a child. It does not appear to be very challenging."

Vala stood behind the Jaffa, making 'talking too much' gestures with her hands.

"Aw, come on Teal'c" Mitchell dared, "You mean I can do something better than you?"

One brow raised. Teal'c removed his shirt. Everyone stopped to watch him. He removed his boots. Mitchell grinned. He removed his socks. Taking the rope in hand he retreated as far into the woods as possible. No one moved. When he began to run, it was if he was running up the rope. Right before the stump, he took a leap, launched off the stump, jumped higher on the rope and propelled himself forward. He sailed clear across the stream. Mid stream, the rope swung back without him, he seemed to hover, before he twisted, flipped and dove into the water.

Coming through the surface of the water almost instantly, he swam until his feet touched bottom, then walked up to the shore.

"Well. I guess that's it for me." Mitchell trudged out of the water downhearted.

"Muscles, that was absolutely amazing!" Vala shrugged her shoulders in glee.

Teal'c bowed his head.

"I'm hungry." Sam said making her way to the shoreline.

**STOP! WARNING S P O I L E R S BELOW!!! **

Next: Chapter Ten: Camp Wacko. Jell-o Shots - need I say more? It definitely gets Wacko at Camp. Sam creates havoc with her 'better than cake' after dinner delight. A tipsy Daniel and Vala lip lock by the fire, Mitchell sings (sort of), Teal'c remains standing – ever observant, and Jack wakes up confused in Sam's tent, yet again, but this time she's wearing his shirt.


	10. Chapter 10 Camp Wacko

Title: Camping Can Be Fun

Author: spacegypsy1

Rating: Teen +  
Category: Action/Adventure/Romance  
Season: After Season 10  
Featured Character(s): Jack, Sam, Daniel, Vala, Teal'c, Mitchell**  
**Pairings: D/V and J/S

Warnings: None – well okay, T for risqué,

A/N: Thanks MariShal, story goddess, and MariShal and Supershipper, betas extraordinaire.

Synopsis: Chapter Ten: It definitely gets Wacko at Camp. Sam creates havoc with her 'better than cake' after dinner delight. A tipsy Daniel and Vala lip lock by the fire, Mitchell sings (sort of), Teal'c remains standing – ever observant, and Jack wakes up confused in Sam's tent, yet again, but this time she's wearing his shirt.

**Chapter Ten: Camp Wacko (Rated T for alcohol content)**

Exhausted from their adventure, the campers quietly ate their lunch.

Jack foraged in the big cooler, counting beers for their last night at Camp Wacko, unhappy to discover their limited supply. "There's never enough," he mumbled. "Carter?"

"Hmmm?"

"What's this huge Tupperware container that's taken up sooooo much space in the bottom of the cooler?"

"It's a surprise, you'll find out tonight."

"Cake?"

"Better than cake." Sam sat, eyes closed in the sunlight.

"Better than Cake!?"

"Better than cake. And don't peek."

"Better than beer?"

"Much better than beer."

Teal'c walked over, hands behind his back and peered into the cooler. He looked up to Jack with interest.

"Better than cake, that would be awesome, T."

Teal'c bowed, agreeing.

"And better than beer…. What could be better than beer?"

--

After dinner, Sam brought the mystery container to the fireside. Removing the top and hand splayed on the bottom for balance, Sam offered it before Jack.

He peeked inside to discover an array of colored Jell-o sitting in tiny white paper cups, five layers high. "THIS is better than cake?"

"Just try one."

He enie, meanie, miney, moed until he choose one.

"That's Apricot, I don't think you'll like it, try this one," she pointed to the strawberry.

"No spoon?"

Sam pulled out a Pineapple Jell-o and coconut rum Jell-o shot, "like this," she squashed the little cup emptying the contents into her mouth.

He performed it flawlessly. "Damn, this is good."

"Better than cake?"

"Maybe."

She lowered her voice, "It's Strawberry Jell-o with rum."

Jack reached in and took a handful.

Next, she presented them to Mitchell. Again she choose one for herself, Mitchell took all but two of the dark red ones. "Excellent choice, Colonel."

She moved on to Teal'c.

"Jell-o, ColonelCarter?"

"Yes, sort of."

Teal'c took even more than Mitchell, his being an assortment of available colors.

"Vala?"

Vala studied the selection of colors, twisting her mouth in concentration. One by one she picked five, four of different colors.

Before continuing around the circle, Sam popped two more of the shots into her mouth, one right after the other.

She stopped in front of Daniel. The container bounced into Daniel's chest and she had to steady it with her other hand. "Oops."

"I'm not hungry." Daniel shook his head.

Sam enticed him with big doe eyes.

He took the remaining yellow ones. "Pineapple and coconut rum." She whispered.

Before she could step away, Daniel grabbed most of the lime green ones, too.

"Lime and to-kill-ya" She winked at him. He gave her that look. The one he usually saved for Vala's foolish antics.

Coming around full circle, she took a seat next to Jack.

Carefully, making well thought out choices, Jack reached in and gathered another handful. "Yum. Better than cake."

"Not better than beer?" She asked him, looking all doe eyed still.

"Yet undecided. Probably not."

In turn, each came to gather more, choosing other varieties and returning to their spot around the campfire.

Returning from his recent foray into the rapidly dwindling Jell-o supply, Daniel stopped in front of his folding chair. He looked at Vala, sitting crossed leg on the ground, picked up the chair, tossed it out toward the woods and settled beside her.

Teal'c looked into the empty container lying on the ground too close to the fire. One side of the Tupperware had melted.

Daniel put his arm around Vala's shoulder. "Ya know, I really like you. A lot."

"Humph!" Vala sucked Jell-o into her mouth. "So you say."

"Do I have to beg for forgiveness?"

"Abso. Absolute…elly," She giggled.

"Can I kiss you?"

"Nooo." She pulled her head back, pointing a finger warningly at him. He didn't remove his arm and she didn't protest further.

Mitchell sat, arms across his chest staring into the flames.

"See anybody, Mitchell?" Jack laughed remembering Mitchell's Granmaw story.

Mitchell looked up, seeing Sam sitting next to Jack. "Yeah, I see Sam." Mitchell grinned wickedly.

Shocked, Jack looked from Sam to Mitchell. Sitting up straighter, Jack did his best General Hammond impression, "I don't think so, son."

"O'Neill?" Teal'c turned from the fire.

Vala rolled her eyes, and spoke to Daniel, "Here we go again."

"Yeah, T?"

"I believe I may be losing my eyesight as all is a blur."

"Quit starin' into the fire."

Teal'c considered the likelihood. "That is possible, however," and he turned his stoic

Jaffa gaze to Sam, "there also remains the prospect that ColonelCarter has infused something into the Jell-o."

Sam slapped a hand over her mouth, her eyes as round as the full moon.

"Well, there's that too," Jack looked preoccupied.

Teal'c turned back to the dying embers. "Should I locate additional wood for the fire?"

"Whatever," Mitchell swayed in his chair, popping the top of his recently acquired beer.

Jack turned at the sound. "Are there more of those?"

"A few," Mitchell answered reluctantly.

The coals of the fire glowed as silence settled around the team once again.

The full moon lit the clearing, bright and beautiful.

Daniel leaned into Vala, his nose lifting the hair from her ear and whispered, "I have three pineapple, coconut rum ones left. If I put one in my mouth, can I kiss you?"

Uninhibited Daniel, how she loved him! She wanted to forgive him. To kiss his inviting lips. Although she knew it was the alcohol, she would regret missing the opportunity presented. Knowing she should wait, Vala weighed her options looking longingly at his remaining six cups. Three yellow ones and three lime green ones. Looking down at her one remaining raspberry she made her decision. "Two. Two of the yellow ones and two kisses."

"Deal." His charming, lopsided grin was her undoing.

She waited, mouth open like a baby bird. He popped one of her favorites into his mouth, and using his tongue, placed the delicacy into the warmth of hers.

Their audience observed. Jack and Sam remained mildly coherent, heads tilted the same direction watching, Teal'c's eyes shifted from the coals, his knowing smile hidden from the rest. Mitchell, sitting next to the couple, leaned over for a closer look.

"Apparently, someone glued their lips together." Jack tipped his head back and forth to get different angles of the kissing pair.

"Are they breathing?" Noticeably unconcerned, Sam asked curiously.

"Not sure."

The couple broke apart, dazed. It only took a second for Daniel to slip the other shot into his mouth and then in hers. When he finally pulled back, Vala swayed. "You're drunk," he told her, swaying a bit himself. With one hand he pulled Vala up and along towards the SUV, balancing the remaining Jell-o shots in the other hand. He opened the door for her, dropped the Jell-o shots on the ground, and crawled in after her. They both lay down and passed out leaving the door wide open.

Laughing uncontrollably, Sam stomped her foot repeatedly. "I thin' I made too many!" She fell over into Jack and kissed him, missing his mouth by a long shot.

Mitchell lay flat on the ground, singing Credence Clearwater Revival's '_Have You Ever Seen The Rain_', way, way, way off key. Empty Jell-o cups littered the ground, spread like a halo around his head.

--

The hot sun, coming through the fabric of the tent, woke Jack. He struggled to sit, looked over and spotted Carter. She was sprawled, belly down on the top of the sleeping bag, wearing a big grey T-shirt. He patted his bare chest. Yep, it was his. In panic he patted his legs. Thankfully his pants were still there. "For cryin' out loud!"

Practically doing a push up, Sam rose on both arms, then managed to turn into a sitting position. Her hair stood up. Her face had crumpled sleeping bag wrinkles pressed into her pale cheeks. She blinked.

"Should I be apologizing?" He scratched through his hair hoping it didn't look like hers.

"I'm not sure?" She repeated his hair fixing process on herself.

He looked at his watch. "We should have been on the road hours ago."

"What time is it?"

"Eleven-thirty."

"Holy Hannah! She jumped up looking around for her clothes. She looked at the shirt she wore, then looked at his bare chest.

He threw his hands up in surrender. "I have no idea."

"Jack?" An accusation, not a question.

"I swear to God Carter, I came in, I took my shirt off, I passed out. Swear to God."

Sam found her clothes under the sleeping bag. She slipped into the jeans under his big shirt. Taking her own T-Shirt she pulled it over her head, over his shirt and performed a contortionist's routine, slipping hers on under his while taking his off. She tossed him the T-shirt and they scurried out of the tent.

Across the field, Teal'c methodically packed the car top. Mitchell had not moved since last night. And Daniel and Vala sat drinking coffee at the picnic table. One on one end on one side, the other on the other end on the other side.

Then General Jack barked out the order, "Okay, campers, let's clean it up. MITCHELL!!!"

"Huh?" Mitchell sat up.

Jack covered his eyes against the glaring light of day, "Head 'em up and move 'em out!"

Mitchell saluted, and picked himself up with a moan.

"O'Neill," Teal'c approached the group, "everything is packed, except for our personal effects. I have cleaned and dried the cooler, in preparation for storing our garbage."

Vala did the talking hand again; bobbing her head around, then realizing her mistake, she stopped when a wave of dizziness washed over her.

Daniel ignored her, smiling, tempted to drink the can of hot beer that sat in the middle of the table.

"Anybody see my sunglasses?" Jack looked around the table, searching.

**STOP! WARNING S P O I L E R S BELOW!!! **

POSSIBLE TITLES FOR Chapter Eleven:

The Brink of Madness -Road to Perdition – Again or Road To: (choose one) Recovery – Redemption – Reconciliation – Reason - Forgiveness. - Colorado Springs - (back from) Perdition. Other options: Who's Driving, Anyway? Lost, The Missing Season. (Oh! THAT would have been fun… lost…hmmm.) The Z Files. Okcaw (wacko backwards.)

Daniel drives a while. Jack and Sam sleep a while, Mitchell moans a while-a lot, Teal'c is silent, Vala contemplates. Vala gets sick, Daniel comforts, Mitchell continues to moan, Teal'c drives, Jack and Sam pretend they don't know each other - in front of the team, Vala and Daniel begin the whole move over thing. Again.


	11. Chapter 11 Still Undecided

Title: Camping Can Be Fun

Author: spacegypsy1

Rating: Teen +  
Category: Action/Adventure/Romance  
Season: After Season 10  
Featured Character(s): Jack, Sam, Daniel, Vala, Teal'c, Mitchell**  
**Pairings: D/V and J/S

Warnings: Please be sure to wear you seat belts!

A/N: Thanks MariShal, story goddess, and MariShal, Supershipper, Samvalasam, for beta help. Any mistakes remaining belong to me..

Title: Still undecided:

The Brink of Madness -Road to Perdition ,Again or Road To: (choose one) Recovery – Redemption – Reconciliation – Reason - Forgiveness. - Colorado Springs - Back From Perdition. Other options: Who's Driving, Anyway? Lost, The Missing Season. (Oh! THAT would have been fun… lost…hmmm.) The Z Files. Okcaw (wacko backwards.)

-----

The minute Jack completed giving Daniel directions to the highway, he propped his head against the window and fell asleep.

The minute Daniel pulled out on the highway, Sam nodded off against Jack's shoulder.

In the rearview mirror he couldn't see Teal'c, who sat behind him. Next to Teal'c, Vala's head rested back against the seat, staring at the ceiling, uncharacteristically quiet. Mitchell, eyes closed and arms crossed tightly across his chest, either slept or was dead. He hadn't moved a muscle since settling in the car.

Daniel flipped the radio on, turned down the volume as not to disturb anyone… as if he could, and grinned when Credence Clearwater Revival's '_Have You Ever Seen The Rain _' started to play.

Mitchell bolted up, "Jackson! Please change the station, that song gives me the creeps."

Daniel hit the button and got static. He turned the radio off. "Better?"

"Much." Mitchell, with thumb to one temple and ring finger to the other, squeezed hard, shut his eyes and tried to stop the sledgehammer from cracking open his skull. "I've got the hangover from hell," he sat back, crossed his arms and tried to sleep.

In the side view mirror Daniel caught a glimpse of Teal'c who appeared to be staring a hole in the back of his head. Maybe he was kelno'reeming.

Daniel shifted to a more comfortable position, set the cruise control, happy to be returning to his books and artifacts. Mysteries he was skilled at solving. Thinking of the mystery in the back seat, he lifted his eyes to the mirror again. Vala appeared to be staring at the back of his head. He reached a hand back to be sure nothing was amiss. He didn't feel anything.

Jack sat up suddenly, "You okay, Danny?"

"Yeah, wide awake, go back to sleep."

Jack settled back down, pulling Carter tighter against him.

Daniel's eyes stayed on the road, as traffic picked up.

Vala continued to stare at the back of his head. Her memory might be slightly foggy from last night, but she remembered Jell-o kisses. Who could forget that? And having slept little, she was pretty sure that aside from those absolutely divine kisses at the campfire, nothing had happened in the SUV. But two things bothered her.

One, waking up wrapped around Daniel like a snake, wearing bra, panties and Daniel's shirt. _I don't remember doing that. _If he'd done it, it would have been out of kind consideration for her.

Two, Daniel woke up in a good mood. He kissed her on the forehead and thanked her for forgiving him. _I don't remember doing that. _And then. Then! He acted as if nothing. NOTHING, had transpired between them. Jell-o kisses. How could he forget Jell-o kisses? After that - he and his oh so chipper mood - had ignored her. Her stomach rolled, she moaned and leaned back against the seat.

"Daniel?" She couldn't raise her head or her voice.

"Hmm?"

"I think I'm going to be sick."

He pulled over, shoved the car in park, jumped out, opened the back door, practically threw Teal'c out, and reached for Vala.

"Wha..?" Mitchell sat up with a moan.

Both Jack and Sam woke, momentarily confused by the commotion.

Daniel, an arm wrapped around Vala's waist, a hand on her shoulder, guided her to the grassy edge.

She leaned over, placed her hands on her knees and threw up.

Daniel had a hand on her back, rubbing gently.

"Ohhh, sorry." And she threw up again.

"Don't be. We've all been here." He tried to keep the humor out of his voice.

Teal'c walked over, handed Daniel a large bottled water and Vala's beach towel. Daniel nodded his thanks and Teal'c returned to the car.

Jack, Sam and Teal'c watched compassionately from the vehicle. Mitchell's head spun wildly and he jumped out of the SUV, dashed to the other side of the road and after a few dry heaves, returned.

Once Mitchell was in the car, he moaned, and fell over on the seat. His butt to the door, feet on the floor and head across the seat. One more moan and he was asleep.

Daniel wet the towel with the some of the water and washed her face. "Here," he handed the bottle to her, "rinse and then drink."

Vala stood. She sloshed water around in her mouth and spit it out. She sipped a little of the water and handed it back to him.

"All better?"

"Yes, thank you."

Once again his arm went around her waist as he guided her back to the vehicle.

Teal'c stood with the door open. "DanielJackson, I will drive. You can attend to ValaMalDoran. ColonelMitchell has passed out in the back seat. ColonelCarter…." He stopped, seeing the bewildered expression on ValaMalDoran's face. "I will drive."

"Thanks Teal'c." Daniel moved Vala to the seat.

She moved in as far as she could and patted the little space beside her.

"Mitchell? Mitchell?" Daniel got no response.

Vala shook Mitchell's shoulder. "Mitchell! Cameron, please wake up."

Mitchell didn't move.

First Daniel's head went all the way back before falling forward, chin to chest. Then, his head went side to side. _This is crazy_. He wedged himself in between the door and Vala.

"Could you move over just a little?" He asked sweetly.

She smiled and edged as far as possible.

"Thanks." He smiled back.

In the front seat, Teal'c cut his eyes to O'Neill.

Jack knew what was coming.

Sam stared straight ahead after moving a little closer to Teal, to avoid contact with Jack's shoulder. She had to work with these guys, she didn't want them to think she and Jack were an 'item'.

Jack had his hands in his lap, literally twiddling his thumbs. They were going home. He didn't want the team to think there was some "thing" going on with him and Carter.

"Vala?" Irritation edged into Daniel's voice.

"What?" She matched his tone.

"The door handle is digging about three inches into my hip." His semi permanently affixed frown had returned.

"Well, I can't help it! He's dead weight, I can't move him." Her eyes, like steel darts, pierced him.

"Move his head, give me a little room."

"Maybe I could sit on your lap, torture you. Then you could say something charming about my past."

"Don't be an ass!"

She hit his arm with the back of her hand.

"Quit it!" he griped.

Jack turned. "Alright kids, let's calm down."

"Shut up!" Both Vala and Daniel said at the same time.

"Pull the damn car over!" Jack huffed. Both Teal'c and Sam looked at him questioningly. "Pull it over."

Jack got out of the car, came to Mitchell's door, opened it, hauled Mitchell up and slammed the door.

"What? We home?" Mitchell mumbled, rubbing his eyes.

Vala immediately took the space Jack had so kindly arranged for her. She looked at Daniel, lips pursed and head tilted. "Now, you've pissed father off!"

"I heard that." Jack said slamming his car door.

Daniel got comfortable. Ten minutes down the road he leaned over and whispered, "I'm sorry."

She whispered back, "I don't care. I hate you. I've always hated you. And the only, only reason I let you kiss me was because I was slightly tipsy and … and that was my favorite flavor." The chin came up and she turned away.

She was grinning foolishly at Mitchell, who, confused beyond ever understanding what was going on, held up his hands in capitulation. His vivid blue eyes were glaring in her direction, lightly tinted with fear.

Daniel was staring into the abyss; the proverbial cosmic two by four had just struck him upside his head. The memory shot through his entire body, the flavor of pineapple and coconut rum and Vala danced on his tongue. He covered his face with his hands trying to block out the image of undressing her in the middle of the night, putting his shirt on her so she'd be more comfortable. He had methodically buttoned every button, had smoothed the hair from her sleeping face, had looked longingly at her. Then, zing, his mind took him right back to the Jell-o kisses. He groaned. Really loud.

"Daniel?" Vala concerned, turned to him, "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," He was no longer at the brink of madness. He was gone, departed, right at the center. He groaned again.

"Stop the car! Stop the car!" Vala cried out.

Skidding to a stop on the shoulder of the road, the SUV seemed to rock a second before Vala reached across Daniel, who was by this time looking at her all screwy. Practically, laying across his lap, she pushed the door open with one hand – the other one was on his shoulder shoving him out the door. She kept pushing, he kept looking screwy at her.

He gave in, got out. She crashed into him, she was moving so fast. He reeled from the impact. She shoved him, both hands on his back, forward.

She huffed and puffed from the exertion. He stopped, stared at her flustered.

Jack looked at Sam. "Can you spell discombobulated? Is that even a word?"

Sam answered, "Yes, and yes."

He nodded.

"What the hell's goin' on?" Mitchell asked, bent down and looking at the two nut cases outside the door.

"What does it mean?" Jack asked her.

"A state of disconcerting confusion."

"Oh, I get it. Spacemonkey and spacemouseketeer." Mitchell said, sitting up and looking out his window at the cars driving past.

Teal'c was on the precipice of laughter.

Jack still leaned across Carter for a better look at the couple outside.

"Sir," Sam said in all seriousness, "could you scoot over a little?"

The SUV filled with laughter.

Daniel blushed looking at Vala fully clothed and not kissing him.

She perked her head up, cocked it to one side, scrunched up one eye, confused. "Are you or aren't you going to throw up?"

"Not."

"You're not sick?"

"Of what?"

Her hands went to her hips. "Of too much alcohol, Daniel you were acting like you were sick,"

He shook his head, "Nope, not sick, not acting sick."

He looked off across the landscape.

"What is it?" the kind, concern in her voice sent his mind back on the path to sweet coconut and her moist hot mouth.

He turned back. "I'm fine, really."

She smiled, eyes alight with caring.

He smiled. Madness wasn't so bad. He leaned. She leaned.

"Can you two just get it over with and get back in the car?" Mitchell called out.

Daniel closed his eyes, sighed, then a hand lightly on her back he walked to the vehicle with her. When they got in, Vala stayed closed to him. Hip to hip. When she looked up she caught Teal'c's reflection in the rearview mirror. He was smiling. And she smiled back, laid her head on Daniel's shoulder and closed her eyes.

It wasn't twenty minutes before Vala asked, "Jack?"

"Yes?"

"How much further is it.?" She had that calculating voice.

She had a whole plethora of voices and Jack had begun to catalog them in his brain. He sighed; he could have been stacking papers. He couldn't wait to get back to Washington and stack papers. Stacking papers can be fun. "A couple of hours, maybe three."

"I need to use the little girl's room." Vala switched to the saccharine voice.

"Me too!" Traitor Sam piped in.

"T, how's the gas?" Jack had the 'three fries short of a happy meal' voice.

"The indicator hovers over the half way point."

"Okay, let's stop at the next station."

When they pulled out of the station, Daniel drove, Vala in the middle and Sam by the window. The other three settled unhappily in the back seat.

Jack looked at Mitchell. "You gonna survive?"

"Barely." Mitchell put his hand to his forehead.

"I hate to see a grown man cry." Jack grinned at Mitchell, who only nodded in acquiesce. "Want a beer?" Jack asked.

"O'Neill, open containers of alcohol are not allowed in a moving vehicle." Teal'c never turned from his constant vigil out the window.

"Right."

Having eaten the lunch they picked up at the station, everyone settled down for the remaining two hours of the trip home. If it wasn't for Vala's constant radio station switching, it could have been described as pleasant in the SUV.

She was doing the sitting dance to 'Crazy' and grinning foolishly at Daniel. Halfway through the song she switched the station, got some country-western ditty and changing dance style, bobbed around to that one.

"Feeling better I see." Jack quipped from the middle of the back seat.

"Much," she moved on to the next station.

"Vala!" Daniel reached and turned the radio off.

She brought her hands to her chest, cupping one in the other. She bowed up, frowned and turned the radio back on. She had the sense to turn the volume down.

Caboom! Flap, flap, flap.

"Daniel?"

"Jack?"

"What was that?"

The SUV was limping to the side of the road.

"I think the tire just blew."

"Are we there yet?" Mitchell laughed at his own joke.

The troop of men got out and stared befuddled at the shredded tire.

Vala and Sam looked at each other and shrugged. Vala turned the radio up, scooted into the driver's seat and started dancing again, Sam joined in.

"That's a great song." Sam reached and turned the volume up a little more.

"I know, I love Pink, she's my favorite." Vala started singing "Stupid Girls……"

Outside the vehicle, the boys sighed in unison. Then Teal'c, Mitchell and Daniel turned to Jack.

"Well, campers, I guess we have to unload the back and change the tire." Jack frowned, hands on hips.

"Don't you have triple A?" Daniel stared at what remained of the tire.

"I think we can manage to change one tire, Daniel." Jack unlocked the back and started pulling everything out.

Teal'c and Mitchell pitched in. Daniel supervised.

It took them nearly fifteen minutes to reach the equipment and jack the car up.

Mitchell pulled the spare out, tried to bounce it on the pavement. It didn't bounce. He looked at Jack, baffled.

"Oh, crap, I forgot to get it fixed." Jack returned to the front of the SUV, reached under Vala and retrieved the Sat' phone, looked askew at the two harebrained women enjoying themselves in the front seat, and scrambled for the safety of the pack of men at the back of the vehicle.

The music blasted out of the back of the SUV and Jack walked away to make his call. Returning, he noticed both Daniel's and Mitchell's head, every so slightly, bobbing to the beat. "They'll be here in fifteen minutes."

Teal'c, hands behind his back, looked expressionless at the set of flat tires laying on the pavement. He may as well have looked Jack straight in the eye and said, 'Idiot'.

Jack shook his head, "Damn."

The tow truck arrived in twenty-five minutes, the driver, a displaced Texas giant named Billy Wayne, tossed the two tires into the back. Jack grabbed Mitchell's arm pulling him toward the tow truck, "I might need a translator." And the two got into the cab of the truck and off they went.

Vala leaned, arms folded, against the hood of the SUV. Sam sat, back against a lonely tree, about ten feet from the road. Teal'c stood beside her, hands behind him, looking off at the vista of the mountains.

Daniel approached Vala, "can we talk?"

"Of course, Daniel," she unfolded her arms.

He took her hand and began to walk the opposite direction from Sam and Teal'c. They walked for a long while in silence, hand in hand.

"I'd like to tell you how sorry I am for hurting your feelings. And I really need to make sure we can get past that." He stopped and buried his hands deep in his pockets. "I want us to be friends, Vala."

"Of course, I forgive you, Daniel." She kissed him sweetly on the side of the mouth. Twirling a pigtail, she continued, "we are friends. Daniel, you are my closest friend."

He pulled her into a hug, kissing the top of her head. "I'm sorry about the whole, um, other thing too. I was way out of line."

Vala pulled back, brows furrowed, head tilted. "What other thing?"

Daniel let go, sliding his hands down her arms, taking her hands in his. "The, um," he let go of one of her hands and gestured like he was taking a cup to his mouth.

"I don't understand." Her furrowed brows went deeper.

"You know, the um, the…" He did the cup to mouth thing again, letting go of her other hand, taking a step back.

"What? The What?"

"The Jell-o, the coconut rum, the mouth to mouth exchanges!"

He was embarrassed, he was endearing, and she silently squealed in glee. "The Jell-o kisses?"

"Yes! Yes, those and the ah," he started moving his arm, with hand palm up, back and forth from her shoulder to her knees.

"The ah, what?" What is this?" She copied his gesture.

"You know…I… might have," he puffed a sigh.

Her eyebrows rose, she grinned, "You undressed me."

"Correct. But nothing happened; I just wanted to make sure you were comfortable." He was relieved that it was over, and he was still breathing, had all his body parts. She hadn't killed him. That had to be a good sign.

"I forgive you, but not for the kisses."

Crestfallen, he didn't know what to say.

"Daniel, I know it makes you uncomfortable for me to talk about…. Well, really Daniel, I loved those kisses. And I know you don't see me that way, but you can't apologize, because I will always keep that memory…" Vala chewed the inside of her mouth a moment, "and should you ever choose to do that again, I'd be more than happy to….."

His mouth shut her up. His arm wrapped around her waist.

Her mouth accepted his. Her arm locked around his neck.

"Oh, boy…" Sam walked up on the couple, "Sorry guys."

They broke apart.

"The tires are back and we're ready to go." Sam smiled and Vala grinned. Daniel blushed, closing his eyes a moment.

Back on the road, Daniel drove and Vala leaned against him.

"Can I drive?" She rolled her head on his shoulder and smiled up at him.

"No."

"You let Teal'c drive."

"Teal'c has a license."

"Well, I want a license."

"Then learn to drive."

"How can I learn to drive if you won't let me?"

"You can't just start driving, you have to… learn."

"Will you teach me?"

"Maybe."

"What are you doing now?"

"What do you mean?"

"Driving, what are you doing and how are you doing it?"

"I'm driving."

"Well, yes, I can see that, but how?"

"Vala."

"Yes, Daniel?"

"You have to get a book. You have to practice. I'll try to teach you some, but I don't have a lot of time for teaching driving lessons."

"When?"

"When, what?"

"When will you teach me?"

"When I have time."

"How about now?"

**A/N: THE END. This is the End my friends -sing that Doors' song here – I should have done a soundtrack CD, I was gonna throw that song - "It's In His Kiss" - in here too, but I don't do Song Fics.**

**Keep an eye out for my fic..(in process).. Daniel teaches Vala to drive. **

**Thanks for reading. And thanks for the reviews! Spacegypsy1 **


End file.
